And so it seems that you've grown up and over me...

...and it's these silly things I like to dwell on.

I think it's amazing how Rilo Kiley has a lyric to describe every part of my life, basically. Lately I've been thinking about all the good friends that I've drifted from and it's making me sad. I try so hard to keep in touch with my friends, I can think of the countless times I've called or tried to somehow hang out or keep in touch and it's always bigger on my side. It's like a relationship where you feel like you like the other person WAY more than they like you. So I think, I did everything I'm supposed to do right? So why aren't we friends anymore? And then I start obsessing and think that they hate me. I think "Oh man, they must have gotten to know me and don't like me anymore. They don't like me once they get to know me." I don't know if it's true but when there's no one there to tell you otherwise it seems to be the only answer. I never vocalize it to these people though, cos well, they don't want to talk to me obviously. Occasionally it occurs to me that they might be extremely busy, but I always quickly pass over the option cos everything's always MY fault, right?

Sorry I'm being bitchy, I should be so grateful for the many friendships I do have, they are my world and I couldn't love them any more, my heart would probably explode.<333

P.S. I love Shelana and she makes all my frowns turn upside down.
P.P.S. I just watched Carrie get broken up with by a post-it and realize my life doesn't suck so much.