oh, lost

warning: this is incoherent and ridiculous

i loved the lost series finale.
i know it's so cliche or cheesy to wrap up the series as a complete nod to religion or spirituality. i am so enamoured with religion, even though i don't agree with the organized religion. i am so fascinated with death, not so much as to what comes after it, but everything that goes along with it. i love things that deal with death and spirituality. so many people try to avoid it, but it's inevitable. i love when characters i love face it head on. harry potter. jack shepard. to come to terms with death is to accept something that could keep you in constant fear, to keep you from living. there is so much i love about this that i can't even put into words properly. it's like harry potter all over again, but not as intense because i haven't put as much love and time into it. harry potter was nine years, this was mere months. but i remember the feeling, lost brought it back. i love putting all my love and time into something, because it's given me so much back that i could never express my gratitude. i've used the word love so much in this post but i can't help it, it's all i have to give, when lost has given me so much.

lost.

thursday i decided to, FINALLY, join the lost bandwagon. i just think of it as being a huge procrastinator. in 3 days i have managed to watch the first 20 episodes (is that pathetic or what?). so i give you:

nicole's thoughts and analysis of lost so far:
-oh wow, jack is pretty hot
-locke is fucking smart as hell
-sayid is pretty good looking
-INCEST?!
-is there gonna be one episode without a fight, or disaster?
-charlie is adorable, damn drug addict
-IMMACULATE CONCEPTION?!
-*bug eyes*
-holy shit, if i was on the island i'd be fucking sawyer every chance i got
-every. chance.

Please.

I'm so confused about life, but it's a good confused. I feel like I'm suppose to be confused but I'm also sad because I think it's a confusion not a lot of people understand, or at least not a lot of the people I am surrounded by understand. I want to be able to talk to someone about what they want out of life beyond asking "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Do people still ask that question? I've always found it ridiculous and answered much to their chagrin "Me". I want to tell someone "Life is beautiful" and discuss with me why it is, or at least not laugh in my face. I feel like no one around me is grasping the complexities of life, or at least won't talk about it. Maybe people do, but they don't talk about it because apparently being lost and confused is a bad thing. I wish they wouldn't. I wish they would talk to me. I wish we could be lost together. Please be lost with me.