looking for john, omegle edition.

You: john green?!
Stranger: imagine
You: okay i will
Stranger: okay, cool.
You: sup, john?
Stranger: oh nothing much. you?!
You: nothing much either, just looking for you, but i found you. yay!
Stranger: yyayyaya.
Stranger: just kidding. im not john green.
Stranger: im miley cyrus.
Stranger: so yeah. im too cool for you, bye!
You: oh, miley.

You: john green?!
Stranger: r u a hot guy?
You: all the time
You have disconnected.

Stranger: hey!
You: john green?!
Stranger: yes!
You: well how do i know this is actually john?
You: and not my cat?
Stranger: only john green would know that you have cat.
You: yes, because john green is omnipresent.
Stranger: you know it
Stranger: im not gunna lie. i have no idea what the fuck that means.
You: hahaha it means he's everywhere
You: and knows everything
Stranger: ohh. right....
Stranger: then yes. that is true
You: OKAY I'M GOING TO HOGWARTS NOW, BYE.

You: john green?!
Stranger: nope
Stranger: BATMAN
Stranger: sorry
You: darn
You: latez, batey

You: john green?!
Stranger: hi wanna have a gay orgy?
You: ALWAYS
You have disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: john green?!
Stranger: YES!
You: I WISH!

You: john green?!
Stranger: Ryan Blue!?
You: touche.
Stranger: Indeed.

You: john green?!
Stranger: Terry Boot?
You: nope, sorry
Stranger: an abundance of katherines is a good book
You: i'm a hufflepuff
You: it really is
Stranger: holy shit!
Stranger: you got the reference
You: hpnerd4lyfe
Stranger: my life is now complete
You: hahah
Stranger: you, my friend, have just made my night :)
You: glad to be of service!

You: john green?!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: what's that mean??
Stranger: im korean
Stranger: haha
You have disconnected.

You: john green?!
Stranger: no?!
You: okay?!
You have disconnected.

You: john green?!
Stranger: Dear Stranger, Your a wonderufl person on the inside and out and God loves you dearly. I hope you had a wonderful day and continue to have a wonderful week :)
You: why thank you.

You: john green?!
Stranger: No, this is Jon Greene
You: so close
Stranger: Yet so far
Stranger: Good luck
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: john green?!
Stranger: YES
Stranger: ADAM?!
You: NO?!
Stranger: WOW
You: WHEE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: john green?!
Stranger: yes
You: cool.
Stranger: :D
You: :)
Stranger: :(
You: :/
Stranger: _|_
You: i don't know what that is, john.
Stranger: it's a penis _|_
You: oh, fun.
You have disconnected.

nerdfighting.

i met hank green today. he is one half of the vlogbrothers, and a person i literally owe a lot to. it was like meeting half of j.k. rowling in a way. not quite as much because i've only been nerdfighting for 2 years, but still pretty significant. i promised myself i wouldn't back out of really telling him what i wanted to, like i did when i talked to john three times. so i told him. i thanked him for everything and explained what project for awesome had done for me. how it was a horrible day. how my mom had just had surgery. halfway through i almost started crying, i was shaking, and he just held out his arms to hug me. he hugged me hard and kept me there for a few seconds and let me finish. i needed that. i really did.

anyways, it made me remember this comment i made on the p4a experience to a friend who interviewed me about it:

"That day was actually really special to me, and the whole community was really vital to my sanity that day. It was the day my mom was having her surgery. After I came home from seeing her at the hospital I went straight to my computer to get my mind off things and help the project, to find out they were just about to start commenting and addressing my video. John was leading it and they all comforted me with kind words and virtual hugs while I told them all about my trip to the hospital and the status of my mom. I had never been more overwhelmed with love and gratitude in my life by virtual strangers, but the love I felt from them was genuine."

Oh, Ross.

Yeah I just referenced an ongoing joke that you could only understand if you read my blog. I hope you do. You probably don't. I hardly blog anymore. The words haven't been coming so easily these days, but I haven't really been creating much of anything through any other medium. So when I see my neglected blog, I feel a bit of shame. My creative juices aren't so juicy. At pretty much every point in my life, I look back on prior writing and think "God, I use to be so funny" or "God, I was such a good writer". Maybe in a year I'll look back on this blog and think "God, I was so good at talking about the past". Oh, RENT, how you stir emotions in me and continue to narrate my life.

how can you leave the past behind
when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart?
it reaches way down deep
and tears you inside out
'til you're torn apart.

narcissism.

i am really obsessed with how i look today. like. if i was a guy or lez, i would TOTALLY DO ME. is that weird?