nerdfighting.

i met hank green today. he is one half of the vlogbrothers, and a person i literally owe a lot to. it was like meeting half of j.k. rowling in a way. not quite as much because i've only been nerdfighting for 2 years, but still pretty significant. i promised myself i wouldn't back out of really telling him what i wanted to, like i did when i talked to john three times. so i told him. i thanked him for everything and explained what project for awesome had done for me. how it was a horrible day. how my mom had just had surgery. halfway through i almost started crying, i was shaking, and he just held out his arms to hug me. he hugged me hard and kept me there for a few seconds and let me finish. i needed that. i really did.

anyways, it made me remember this comment i made on the p4a experience to a friend who interviewed me about it:

"That day was actually really special to me, and the whole community was really vital to my sanity that day. It was the day my mom was having her surgery. After I came home from seeing her at the hospital I went straight to my computer to get my mind off things and help the project, to find out they were just about to start commenting and addressing my video. John was leading it and they all comforted me with kind words and virtual hugs while I told them all about my trip to the hospital and the status of my mom. I had never been more overwhelmed with love and gratitude in my life by virtual strangers, but the love I felt from them was genuine."

i hung out with amanda palmer today.

a few days ago amanda announced on her twitter that she would be having a ninja party on the beach today. i, of course, leaped at the chance and found out my friend was planning to go too. her mom wanted to drive us though, but it was cool because her mom is, um, AMAZING.

so the plan for the beach party was to hang, some uke music, and a photo shoot. we were asked to come dressed in black and bring bright flowers. unfortunately my friend and i couldn't get there till 6 when it started at 4, but we got there just in time for the hour long photo shoot. i played dead and god, i hurt the crap out of my knee in my awkward position. little did i know amanda would end up lying next to me, and you know, end up naked for part of the shoot.

she's as amazing as you would think she would be. she radiates love, empowerment, and so many other things that just combine to make a lovely person.

so we did a photo shoot for an hour, while my friend's mom blew bubbles all over our dead bodies and naked amanda for the photos. then she signed things, hugged people, got kisses, and loved everyone. hopefully i'll post the pictures when they're released. also, if things work out right i will be blogging soon about how fucking awesome beth, her assistant, is.

In every form.

Sometimes I feel so much love in my heart that it swells till it feels like it's going to explode and God, do I feel lucky.

P4A

The other day one of my best friends (Gum) interviewed me about my participation in the Project for Awesome. I realized I hadn't really wrote about it, and this is one of my favourite quotes I said that really summed up the day for me:

"That day was actually really special to me, and the whole community was really vital to my sanity that day. It was the day my mom was having her surgery. After I came home from seeing her at the hospital I went straight to my computer to get my mind off things and help the project, to find out they were just about to start commenting and addressing my video. John was leading it and they all comforted me with kind words and virtual hugs while I told them all about my trip to the hospital and the status of my mom. I had never been more overwhelmed with love and gratitude in my life by virtual strangers, but the love I felt from them was genuine."

You're gonna carry that weight.

I just went to brush my teeth, and as I cupped water in my hands to wash out my mouth, the quote on my hands "the love you take is equal to the love you make" started washing away a bit from my hands. I washed out my mouth with love. I don't know why that's beautiful but I think it is.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Today, my love Shelana turns 24. No longer is her getting older creepy cos I'm 18 now. Yay!

Oh Darling!

I just watched Across the Universe and remembered how much I loved it. And then on my own I watched ALL the extras on the second disc, and they were pretty amazing. I've been trying so hard to stop it for the last couple months but I'm falling in love with Joe Anderson. And I re-fell in love with Jim Sturgess. How can I be in love with so many people at once? I need to stop that.