Shey day!

Tomorrow is Shey day. We're going to the movies and Sephora and good stuff. I don't really have anything to talk about but I haven't blogged in so long. So Shey and I were like let's go see award nominated movies! But we might just end up seeing Twilight again! Hahahaha, I love us.

Proof.

Proof that nerdfighters are the best people in the world and I love them more than anything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bms6-Mp9SR8&feature=channel_page

Oh well.

I realize how dangerous this blog could be if it fell into the wrong hands. People can trace me to here, people I've just met. The thing is, I don't want to make a blog private for just a few people, I feel like what I want to say I should be able to say it to anybody. But then there are dangerous or embarrassing repercussions afterwards. By the way, how can people not think Robert Downey Jr. in Iron Man is fucking hot?

Also, I've realized I scare away good smelling boys because I'm blunt and talk about everything, including sexual things. Why is that intimidating?!

In my dreams...

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like I'd walked through the desert for 13 days on end, screaming until my voice was no more. Yelling for death to come. For hell to come. For something to come. I ran down my ladder from the bed and frantically grabbed a water bottle from my above storage. I literally drank the whole thing without stopping so much that it poured down the front of my shirt. I don't know what was wrong, what was going on in my dreams, but it was scary.

TMI.

I feel sorry for my twitter followers. I don't think they expected my twitters to be about my raging hormones. That's what this blog is for. I should really stop being so blunt about things because I don't know who reads this besides Shey and Erin. I'm sure SOMEONE out there stalks me and everything I do. If you do, could you let me know? I might become your best friend.

But seriously guy, just cos you're creepy and kinda cute and I danced with you does NOT mean I wanna fuck later. Well, maybe I do. But not with you. Okay, I don't cos I'm a virgin and all that good shit but hormones are in a frenzy lately. I hate boys who smell good. IT FUCKS EVERYTHING UP. I feel like fucking Edward Cullen sometimes. I don't plan on giving it up anytime soon, BUT GODDAMN YOU SMELL DELICIOUS TO ME.

DEAR GOD I FINISHED.

Here are the rules:

* NO repetitions
* Pick any celebrity or fictional character for each response
* Tag three people: Shey, Rachul, Elise, Erin, anyone who wants to do itttt.

1. The guy you'd take to meet your parents?
John Krasinski. The actor, he's a wonderful guy.


2. The one woman you would do?
Shane from The L Word. I swear to God, I want to do her so bad.


3. The guy you would have sex with in your parents bed?
Brad Pitt aka Tyler Durden in Fight Club, I would feel so dirty but DAMN I would feel so good.


4. The one woman you would take to the mall?
Jenny Lewis, our shopping habits would be lovely together.


5. Your female BFF?
Amanda Palmer, she's just the coolest chick ever, basically.


6. Your male BFF?
Robert Pattison, seriously I just wanna get drunk with that fool.


7. Your gay BFF?
RUFUS MOTHERFUCKING WAINWRIGHT. I would enjoy that so much.


8. The guy who'd take you to the prom?
Jasper Hale aka Jackson Rathbone. He would look dashing in a tux, they know how to do it down south. ;)


9. Your big brother?
Emmett Cullen. I just want him to huuuuuuuuuuug me.


10. The guy you'd marry?
Jim Halpert, hands down. I had such trouble when it came to the marry question. I'm always eager to answer who I wanna fuck, but when it comes to marriage I'm like uh....what?


11. The two guys you'd have a threesome with?
This question sent me into a fucking frenzy, I swear. The Weasley twins, I am all for twincest.


12. The woman and guy you would have a threesome with?
Amanda Palmer and Viggo Mortensen. It's a weird combination, and I know we're not suppose to repeat people but DEAL.


This was the most difficult question ever and I still don't know my real answer.

13. The guy you'd go clubbing with?
Daniel Vosovic, it would be fantastic.


14. The guy you'd have hot angry sex with?
I'd call Sirius Black gay and hope it'd bring out the animal in him. Or Sirius Black in his early years. GODDAMN.

No pictures could ever do Sirius justice. He is so fucking hot in my head.

15. The girl/guy you'd call after a break-up?
Alaska Young. We would talk about how we don't need guys but sex is great.
There are no pictures of her, but trust me. She's awesome.

16. The guy you'd have sex with when no one was around?
ADRIEN BRODY. GODDAMNNNN.


17. The guy you'd have sex with while cheating on your husband/boyfriend?
I'd hope that wouldn't happen but I'd definitely have Johnny Depp in my guilt free three.


18. The guy you'd tell all your secrets to?
John Green, he's a very paternal good listener.


19. The person you would commit a murder with?
Bellatrix Lestrange cos bitch is boooomb.


20. The boy you'd go to the gym with?
Michael Buckley from What the Buck? on youtube. We would just sit there and make fun of other people basically.


21. Your shoulder to cry on?
Carlisle Cullen, then we'd fuck. Just saying.


22. The guy you'd ask to beat up your cheating boyfriend/husband?
Jacob Black. DO IT.


23. The guy you'd always come back to?
Oliver Wood. He'd be my fuck buddy.


24. The guy you'd die for?
Harry Potter, because he's Harry Potter and doesn't deserve to die after he's been through all that crap.


25. The guy who'd get you pregnant be the father of my child?
Edward Cullen. He'd knock me up with a mutant baby but I would abort that shit, unlike Bella.

I am thankful.

Now that Thanksgiving is over, I can tell you all what I'm thankful for because we should say it more than just one day a year. I'm thankful for everything in my life. From the great to the shit to the horrific to the amazing. I'm thankful for friends that I have never met face to face but are probably the only reason I haven't had a nervous breakdown. I'm thankful for the best friend that was sitting there with me when I got the news my mom has breast cancer and somehow intuitively knew that giving me the "I'm sorry, I'm gonna look at you like you're fragile and pity you" look was not the right thing do. I'm thankful my mom is as strong as she is, but wish she would let me take over the strong facade once in a while. I'm thankful for a big sister who is the main reason I am sane and happy. I'm thankful for being allowed to live in Santa Barbara, where the atmosphere is far less poisonous (metaphorically speaking). I'm thankful for books, for everything they've done for me. From providing an escape to giving me some of the most meaningful people and thought provoking ideas I would otherwise never have encountered. I'm thankful for music, which provides me an outlet to write, it inspired everything I am typing right now. I'm thankful for whoever or whatever handed me the cards I've been dealt and put enough trust in me to make do and not fuck up. I am thankful for Shey and Erin who still read this blog and I have absolutely no idea why. I'm thankful I have understanding TA's who realize that school is the last thing on my mind right now. I'm thankful that after everything I've been through I'm still levelheaded enough to know that I have so many things to be thankful for.

The points.

I'm sitting alone in my room just aim chatting with Gum and all of a sudden someone upstairs starts blasting "The Good that Won't Come Out" into the courtyard/lawn. It's like someone knew I was building up emotions and played my song to help release them. But I only teared up a bit. Not much. I felt far more frazzled like, "Who knows what I'm going through?" "Why would they play that song OF ALL SONGS?" I've seriously felt that interconnectedness in the world these days. It's astounding.

Oh bother.

and lastly you're all alone with nothing left but sleep,
but sleep never comes to you, it's the guilt and forever wakefulness of the weak.
it's just you and me...

Sigh.

my room glows blue
i refuse to turn on lights
it keeps me peaceful
it keeps me calm
till that damn phone rings.

Wheeeeeee.

I wonder how my parents would feel if they knew last night I slept over my friend's apartment after excessive drinking. Oh and I met this friend on Myspace, when I was 15. Ha. I know it sounds weird but it isn't.

OH. Big thanks to Amy for giving me clothes so I didn't have to do the walk of shame (minus the sex part) in my costume, back to my dorm. Got home at 3 p.m. by the way.

Things are shaping up to be pretty odd.

Today's been a...crazy, yet mundane day.

I slept in and skipped Chicano Studies. I went to Psych class and I'm pretty sure I bombed my midterm. Oh well. And from there I indulged in my depression and just moped. I don't think you understand how upset and sad I've been that I couldn't go to see John Green. Sigh. Oh well. I went downtown and opened up a new bank account, then we took Gus to get a haircut. We went into Borders and Aline called me from the Nerdfighter event. I got to talk to John Green, or more like, John Green got to talk at me. Which is really nice because I tend to lose all verbal skills when I talk to him (this being the third time). Aline also bought me a new Alaska (I still love my original, with the candle burning, and the pages falling apart.) and got John to sign it. I swear, I love that girl so much. We haven't been together for 10 years for no reason.

We went to the bus stop and a guy gave me a popsicle. He had a box of popsicles he was trying to give away. It wasn't even laced with drugs or anything! I don't know why that made my day, but it did.

I love the energy around the dorms right now with Halloween. There's lots of fun going on that is skank-free and doesn't need alcohol and drugs to be awesome. Trick or treating and shit. Now we've been watching The L Word for hours and it just makes me happy.

Divine Inspiration.

How I Look to You

When I sit like this
Do you see me brave

Do I make a mystery for you
When I put on a gaze

When I stretch my arms like this
Do you see me sensual

When I look relaxed
Do you believe me

When I'm acting interested in your words
Do you believe I'm completely interested

Which presentation of myself
Would make you want to touch
What would make you cross the border

-Sam Shepard

The Hunt
I've lost 15 pounds for you
I've dyed my hair brown for you
I've designed a special smile for you
But I haven't met you yet

I've bought a flashy shirt for you
I've plucked my eyebrows out for you
I've covered myself in Musk Oil for you
I'm still hunting around for you

I've changed my walk for you
I've even changed my talk for you
I've changed my entire point of view for you
I hope we'll find each other soon

-Sam Shepard

MY LIFE IS COMPLETE.

I MEAN IT.

THAT'S ME. IN THE PHONE. ABOUT TO TALK TO JOHN GREEN.

Update!

I was up until 5 last night. I was reading, doing work, and until 3:30 also doing laundry. I love reading in the laundry room. I actually get shit done in there while I wait for my clothes to dry.

While I am undoubtedly exhausted, I got back my first ever paper this morning in section. I got an A-, that kinda made me jump for joy and uh, it makes these 5 a.m. nights worth it.

My friends came to stay this weekend, it was really nice. I've missed them, they came to check out the school. We went downtown, Borders, IV, DP, everywhere. They watched The L Word with me at night. I think they are scarred for life, it was fantastic.

Follwing me on Youtube is easier.

It's all becoming clear, and then distorted.

For the last month or so I've been reading Beth Hommel's blog quite a lot. For those of you who don't know, Beth is the assistant to Amanda Palmer, of The Dresden Dolls fame, and is quite an amazing lady. Her spirituality and outlook on life has gotten me back into questioning the universe and my fate in it. I've finally started taking events that have happened to me to mean more than just face value. The universe has been trying to tell me things, but I refused to listen.
So on Thursday morning when I got into a bike accident fucking up my now gnarly knee, I started thinking "Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something. Maybe I'm suppose to slow down." I kinda brushed it off like it was no big deal, that I was going to keep on going. The next day, I got sick. I was definitely listening to the universe now. I'm trying to take it slow now. Maybe if I hadn't been rushing from IV to my discussion class, I wouldn't have gotten into an accident. If I hadn't kept going without looking at the signs, maybe I wouldn't have gotten sick. I want to keep my rational, self-driven, crazy self, while incorporating some spirituality and larger than life ideas. I love moving at the speed of light, but maybe once in a while I need to take the scenic route.

I am.

I am sick.
I am crippled.
I am living.

This is a blog.

PUSHING DAISIES IS BACK AND I'M OH SO EXCITED. IT IS MADE OF AMAZING. I LOVE KRISTEN CHENOWETH.

Also, I want to marry Anna Friel.

David is here for the week.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIN (AND DANIELLE, BUT YOU DON'T READ THIS.)!!!

Off to Pushing Daisies.

Overhead in Santa Barbara:

Girl: I need to go home. I need to go to my apartment.
Guy: Why do you need to go home? WHAT'S AT YOUR APARTMENT? IS THERE A 10 INCH DICK AT YOUR APARTMENT?! I DON'T THINK SO.

Win.

I'm alone.

My first weekend in Santa Barbara and all my friends went home for the weekend. WTF. Come visit me, please.

I...

it...what...I don't know what to do with myself.

The Dresden Dolls are on indefinite hiatus? I'm so upset right now.

IS IT THURSDAY YET?

AH.

I'm in my dorm. Chilling on the floor. Love.

Subscribe to us, bitches!

Packing.

Trash bags full of crap count: 14
Trash bags full of clothes for the Salvation Army count: 4

But am I done? No.

Please put a shoe on your head, please.

I'm a terribly loud packer. TERRIBLY LOUD. Unfortunately for my sleeping family, I like to start packing at about 1 in the morning. I knock things over, go in and out of my room multiple times with large bags that consequently make me run into things and walls. I don't know how they deal with it. I'm pretty sure I would have woken up myself if I was sleeping. (Note: I sleep through everything.)

For the last five days, I've been packing about 3 hours a day. That's a lot. But how else am I suppose to get through 16 years of cumulative crap and sort through it? I've literally thrown out about 10 trash bags full of crap, and got rid of 4 trash bags full of clothes for the Salvation Army. That being said, I still have a ton of crap left. It's quite horrible, I'm such a pack rat. Thankfully when I move again in nine months it won't be quite this horrible. But packing up your life is no small feat. Hopefully I'll be done throwing stuff away tomorrow night and get onto actual sorting and packing in proper boxes, properly organized. In the process I hope to lose at least one more trash bag full of stuff. Do you know how tempting it is to leave everything, tell my family to throw it all away if they want, and start over? I seriously considered it. I think the only thing I wanted to keep was my books, my computer, and a handful of clothes. Yes, a handful. But alas! I can't do that yet. I think my parents would have a bitch fit if I left all this crap to them, to be honest. Maybe when I move again in nine months I'll see if people just want it all...



P.S. I've started a new youtube: here.

Fuck this.

How the fuck am I suppose to get out of this labyrinth if I keep getting pulled in by others every time I'm close to the exit?

I want him.

NOW.

Bum.

I feel so useless these days. School doesn't start for two weeks. I don't move for a week and a half, and I do absolutely nothing of significance these days. School, come quicker!

EPIC LULZ.

Dear sweet baby Jesus, THIS IS HILARIOUS.
Thank you so much John Green for bringing it to my attention.

P.S. The blog title is in the works, I just needed something new for now.

WIN.

I AM TOTALLY FOLLOWING MYSELF. FOLLOW ME IN THE SIDEBAR ON THE RIGHT.

An actual good idea.

Let's rename my blog. Pretentious bitch makes a blog is a little off putting...I guess. I need new. Give me blog titles people.

Good ideas.

I ate a hot pocket today. Why would I do that? 10 bucks says I'll forget about this feeling and eat one this week, thinking it's a good idea.

And I just got distracted and left this window open for a good 20 minutes. Win.

I wanna book 8.

You know who answers my questions in live blogs? JOHN. You know who doesn't answer my questions in live blogs? HANK. Hank, this may be why my subconscious prefers John, although I would never consciously choose between the two of you. Actually if I had to choose, I would choose...THE KATHERINE.

P.S. Pretty much disregard that last blog. Some friends left me out of something that wouldn't be such a big deal except it brought out old feelings and bad times and resentment and self consciousness and feeling like no one's telling you that they actually don't like you. Yeah, just bad times.

Fuck.

I've spent a significant amount of my life being able to keep people from getting under my skin. To not let them affect me unless they are worth the pain. But how come every time I entrust my happiness in someone they feel a need to crush it?

Dear haters,

who like to say that Edward Cullen has no fucking personality, GO FUCKING READ MIDNIGHT SUN. I'm so sick of everyone saying that, but if you read Midnight Sun you realize he has more personality in his pinky than Bella freakin' Swan has in her whole body. No, it's not because I'm jealous of Bella or anything (although I am), I really mean it. I always thought she was a bit, um, of a flatline? I was just lucky to see Edward through her. Edward is ridiculously funny, a bit of 40-year old mom (growing up cullen, ftw), and so tormented it sucks. Too bad he keeps it all to himself or people would realize what Team Edward is all about. (Note: I love Jacob too.)
I'm just a little bitter.

Love,
Nicole
P.S. Chagrin.

I'm such a fucking masochist.

Or maybe a sadist. So I'm reading Midnight Sun, and I decided to re-read chapter 1. Edward is planning all the ways he can kill Bella and about 20 other people. Who gets into the head of a guy planning to kill people and think IT'S SO FUCKING HOT? Like, I wish I was Bella, if he killed her. I wouldn't mind dying that way. I want his teeth to pierce through my neck. DEAR GOD, IT'S HOT.

Excerpts (Warning: may cause um...):

"Some would hear...and I'd be forced to kill even more innocents in this black hour.
And her blood would cool while I murdered the others."

"The monster in my head smiled in anticipation."

"Even if she had time to scream, which she would not, there would be no one to hear."

"And when I had her alone, there would be no chance of anyone else getting hurt. And no reason to rush through the experience, the monster in my head agreed."

So am I a sick son of a bitch, or what?

Busy busy busy.

I move in three weeks and haven't started packing...AT ALL. I really need to get on that. Plus, the couple of weeks after I move in, I'm planning A LOT of trips, mostly between Santa Barbara and L.A., but another one too possibly.... I'm going to be so busy it's ridiculous.

I hate goodbyes.

I had to say goodbye to my best friend today. She leaves in about a half hour to New York, where she will be living now. EEK. God I miss her so fucking much already. But no time to dwell on that now! I'm leaving for Vegas in an hour. Back to work!

Dreams.

Finally, I'm in a Brotherhood 2.0 video. My lifelong dream has been realized. DFTBA NERDFIGHTERS.

Lovely,

I was at Disneyland the past two days. I spent the night there on Monday. In an hour I'm going to a concert in the park to see a sub-par Beatles tribute band. Life needs to be more like this.

HP VS. Twilight once again.

I love how Twilight is trying to nudge its way into my heart. (My little nudger, get it Twilighters? Get it?) Twilight is like "Hey! Harry Potter is being a real dick to you cos the movie is now 11 months away instead of three! But guess what? WE love you, and will move the movie three weeks closer for you. Cos we love you. Love."

"Now for the good news! Though we're all sad to have to wait for Harry Potter, this open spot at the theater creates a cool opportunity. The good people at Summit were thrilled to let me know that now Twilight fans are going to get their movie three weeks earlier than scheduled. That's right—Twilight will be released in theaters November 21st! Let the merry-making commence!"

Stolen from Stephenie's site.

I'M FUCKING ECSTATIC.

Anger.

I don't understand why WB hates me. Oh wait, I do. It's because they love money more. Fuck WB.

"Warner Brothers has just announced that Half-Blood Prince will be delayed. The film will instead be released on July 17th, 2009. From the press release:

In making the announcement, Mr. Horn stated, “Our reasons for shifting ‘Half-Blood Prince’ to summer are twofold: we know the summer season is an ideal window for a family tent pole release, as proven by the success of our last Harry Potter film, which is the second-highest grossing film in the franchise, behind only the first installment. Additionally, like every other studio, we are still feeling the repercussions of the writers’ strike, which impacted the readiness of scripts for other films—changing the competitive landscape for 2009 and offering new windows of opportunity that we wanted to take advantage of. We agreed the best strategy was to move ‘Half-Blood Prince’ to July, where it perfectly fills the gap for a major tent pole release for mid-summer.”

Stolen from Mugglenet.

So, what the fuck. I'm so pissed off, maybe if they hadn't been stringing us along this whole time, saying it's in November, never getting us a fucking teaser trailer and making us all antsy, then finally delivering far past our attention span, then finally giving us a trailer and then OH WHAT'S THAT? It's the best looking HP trailer I've ever seen? Oh what? Now I'm even more excited I'm gonna piss my pants, but wait, now you're gonna push the date for 8 MONTHS?! You know, WB, if I die before this movie comes out, I'm gonna haunt you in the afterlife. I swear to God I will pull a Myrtle.

This is making my life right now.

It restores my faith in humanity.
Reason #124234095234852234 why I love Jessie.

http://www.thingsididlastnight.com

Oh Jackson, my Jasper.

Do you see that guy on the right? Yeah, I see him too.

Alaska Young.

I wish I was mysterious.



Note to self: work on that.

Stiff upper lip...

I move out in 41 days. Consequently, I am throwing myself into massive amounts of debt. Upon throwing myself into the real world, I start our horribly behind instead of ahead or even "even". I think I'm kind of looking forward to that. While others shudder at the thought and would rather stay within the confines of their parents' home and attend community college (no offense, you're rather smart if I say so myself, smarter than me), I embrace this hole to dig myself out of. (I hate that I just ended with a preposition.) I want to prove to myself that I can make it without my parents' help. That I owe nothing to them (except you know, the first 18 years of my life). I have promised myself that I will never move back into my parents' house for a long period of time. (Maybe a summer, maybe a week in between moving, but nothing permanent nor long.) I'm not one for commitment or staying in one place for too long. I'm somewhat ADD, or just antsy, so staying in one place for 18 has rather stifled and somewhat killed part of me. Yes, I went so far as to say kill. I look forward to drowning in debt and beer. Bring it on!

Life.

I'm not gonna pretend like I know what it's all about. I got no fucking clue. And neither do you. or you. or you. All I know is to keep on living and try to figure stuff out along the way. I know I never will.

I missed a day.

And I don't give a crap. I feel so cheated and overwhelmed right now I want to curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep. Yeah, this book is killing me.

HOLY CRAP BALLS.

I swear to God those were the first words I thought when I woke up this morning. TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT. I SWEAR TO GOD I'M HYPERVENTILATING. I'M GONNA PEE MY PANTS.

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday to the boy wizard and magnificent author who have forever changed my life. If only you knew how much they have changed my life, all for the better. You cannot even begin to imagine.

Happy birthday Harry James Potter and Jo Rowling.<3

Beverly Hills.

I'm leaving for Beverly Hills again in a couple and hope to run into more arrogant celebrities.

Earthquake!!

There was an earthquake today. I thought it was just me, being all off balance and tipping over. Then I looked on the floor and it was shaking and everyone else was freaking out. AWESOME.

I love AOL.

So last night around 3 a.m. I checked The Leaky Cauldron and it said AOL leaked the new Half-Blood Prince trailer. My heart literally stopped and I clicked it.

here.

I have a new respect for AOL, which they lost a long time ago from me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Today, my love Shelana turns 24. No longer is her getting older creepy cos I'm 18 now. Yay!

Beverly Hills.

I'm comfortably home and finally able to catch up on my internet-ing. I have way too many places I post and shit. It's not cool. This is gonna take hours. Anyways, today I hung out in my brother-in-law's Starbucks in Beverly Hills and saw Lorenzo Lamas (I totally had to google who the hell he was while he was standing 2 feet next to me) and Kim Catrall (fucking goddess). I sometimes love how cliche this town can be.

Work.

I'm at my Grandma's house this weekend, basically cut off from the internet world completely. She just got out of the hospital and needs a live-in nurse somewhat. That's me!

Just back from Santa Barbara.

Had a blast, but I gotta go.

Living on the beeeeeach.

I leave for Santa Barbara in four hours and I'm not asleep. Ah! I'm too excited, I don't think I'll want to come home. I'll take pictures so you guys can be jealous about how I'm basically LIVING ON THE BEACH.

50 books progress!

1. Looking for Alaska by John Green (Everyone needs to read this book, IMMEDIATELY.)
2. Bergdorf Blondes by Plum Sykes (I indulged myself in a total guilty pleasure book.)
3. Macbeth by William Shakespeare (This puts his other work TO SHAME.)
4. Nights in Roadanthe by Nicholas Sparks (Does he always have to be so damn depressing?)
5. Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (The infatuation begins...)
6. New Moon by Stephenie Meyer (It grows, and grows, and grows...)
7. Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer (Shit, I'm completely in love with a fictional character.)
8. The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare (What a crappy ass ending.)
9. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling (It's summer, which means it's time to re-read the Harry Potter series. It's what I do.)
10. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling (Page 333, ftw. Everyone reads too much into things, or not enough.)
11. 13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson (It was pretty damn good, but I wish some characters had been developed more to get a clearer picture.)
12. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling (I love this book, I think this is one where Rowling really started to hit her stride.)
13. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak (This book left me in a crying heap of a mess. It was amazing and life-changing. Although I'm sure if they hadn't told you everything ahead of time, I would be even more devastated.)

To read:
-The rest of the Harry Potter series
-I need to get An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
-Breaking Dawn!!!
-The Lovely Bones

Suggestions and recommendations are still greatly appreciated. =)

I have fooled you long enough.

As you have undoubtedly noticed, I've changed my layout. I love the old one but I needed something new. Also, I haven't told you guys this but I hate capital letters, but when I started this blog I vowed to try and write my entries properly to keep up my game. But seriously, I hate capital letters.

I hate sting rays.

Because I promised a sting ray story and someone insisted on reminding me *cough*Hugh*cough*, I'm just copy pasting what I sent to everyone:

"i got stung in the water and i thought it was for a cut for a half hour. i was just like suck it up! but after a half hour i was like, umm i feel it spreading in my foot. i went to one lifeguard and he was like okay a truck's gonna come pick you up and take you down the street to another place where they can take care of it. well they took me to another place that had even more lifeguards. it was like a shack, and the only thing i had to do was put my foot in a bucket with scalding water. whenever it would get too comfortable i would have to turn on the hose and put in more extremely hot water. i was there for over an hour and just talked to the lifeguards and stuff. it was fun after a while, but at first it was just paaaaaaaainful."

P.S. I got new glasses this weekend and I loooooove them.

Happy Anniversary!

Today marks the one year anniversary of the best/worst day of my life. Celebrate the release of Deathly Hallows by re-reading the book, discussing Harry Potter, drawing a scar on your forehead, or just remembering that the weapon we have is love. Thanks for being cheesy with me.



Love,
Nicole.



P.S. Thanks Jo!
P.P.S. I kinda feel like crying now.

I love someecards.

My sister just left my house after we laughed ourselves dead tonight. Oh and I believe I owe a sting ray story in a little while.

Mess.

I just finished reading The Book Thief, and now I'm a mess. God, I'm a mess. My heart is heavy and images are burned into my mind. My mind is flickering with images like a TV looking for the signal. It's flickering when no one has turned it on, and I can't find the power button.

Sting rays suuuuuuuuuuck.

I got stung by a sting ray today. I'll properly tell the story tomorrow when I'm not drunk. (Note: I am right now.)

Why am I awake?!

It is 7:30 a.m. I went to sleep at 5 a.m. So I had a nice 2 1/2 hour nap, and now I'm going to the beach. Huzzah!

Strangers in the night...

I'm going to the beach tomorrow. I would be so excited if it didn't mean I had to get up extremely early. AH.

Mmmm food.

I randomly biked to my friends house where we had a spontaneous sit down 5 course dinner. It was lovely.<3

Ohemgee.

DEFINITELY my favourite Breaking Dawn quote so far!:

Bella: “Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You’re not taking him to a strip club, are you?”

I think that's self-explanatory.

Fangirl squee!

Tonight, Entertainment Tonight is supposed to world premiere the second Twilight trailer. I don't think you can comprehend how excited I am. Like, I think I am going insane. Sometimes being a fangirl is a little too much.

<3

One of my best friends randomly showed up on my front porch with boba and a hug for me this afternoon. God I love him.

Get it? WINEHOUSE.

I'm back home now, although I much rather still be in Vegas. It was raining and there was lightning and thunder, my favourite kind of weather. As soon as we get home the rest of the family's depressed while I'm bouncing off the walls. Seriously, they need to all stop wallowing in their self pity and be happy for a change. I'm gonna go watch youtube now!

So much Hairspray!

I'm in Vegas. Danielle and I are bumming it in the hotel room, watching South Park in the dark with sporadic outbursts of lightning. Oh yeah, there's a huge thunder storm. I ran into my cousins today too. How funny, Las Vegas is huge and I manage to run into my cousins. I hope I don't run into somebody else...

Best conversation of the trip (thus far):

Danielle: "You know what's funny?"
Nicole: "What?"
D: "She sings about rehab and her last name's WINEHOUSE. Our last name is Hernandez, what should we sing about?"
N: "Gardeners."

Vegas time!

I leave for Vegas later today. That should be fun, maybe I should go to sleep or something.

Wheeee.

Friends make everything better. Let's go swimming!

Rumours make me exceedingly happy.

"This just in: the second Twilight teaser trailer will be showing in front of The Dark Knight on July 18th! Prepare to be dazzled! ;)"

This is just a rumour for now, no confirmation yet, but HOT DAMN. I was already excited for Dark Knight, but this is just the cherry on top! Except the Half-Blood Prince trailer won't be with it. =( Which is actually pretty good cos I seriously don't think I could handle both those trailers together in one night.

This is what I'm doing with my life:

And yes, my boobs ARE gonna come out any second thank you for asking.

Cool levels.

I don't get how Christopher Walken is so cool. Like, he could be handed anything, and he makes it sound cool in his own weird way. I wish I was cool like Christopher Walken.

Don't stop believin'!

I went back to my high school today to request my transcripts to send to UCSB. It's so weird to go back as an alumni, everyone looks so much smaller...

Can't let go.

The challenge is over but I just got the worst feeling in my stomach when I thought I didn't post yesterday. I just refuse to let it go.

America had a kickass birthday.

We finished blowing shit up at 1:30 in the morning and now we're figuring out sleeping arrangements. Fitting six people into one small room is no small feat. Oh and we only set ONE thing on fire this year. =)

Happy Birthday, America.

TIME TO BLOW SOME SHIT UP.

The nicest kids in town.

I've watched Hairspray three times today. Just to watch James Marsden dance. He is sooooooooooooo much better looking than Zefron. I don't know if you've paid attention, he's CREEPY in this movie. He's a creeper. It's all about the Marsden.

Earlier today I was in on the live blog with John Green. I was in the main chat and had waaaaaaaaay too much fun. I couldn't think of any questions of substance except favourite Beatles song and something else I can't even remember. At the beginning I told him "Nice lighting" and he remarked on that, thought I was being sarcastic. It made me way too happy. I can't wait to meet him and Hank when they come out somewhere this way in October or November. NERDFIGHTERS, DFTBA.

You can watch it here if you want.
Check out the vlogbrothers, you won't be disappointed.

I kinda refuse to give up.

It's not like I have anything better to do this summer. Now, when I move in a little under three months, that's a different story!

Like a crack addict...

It's really hard to just shake off 5 months of incessant blogging like nothing. Well, for me anyways. I'm sure the other participants are doing just fine not blogging. I'm hoping to get involved in something else soon, or some sort of summer deal cos I have nothing to do....

HAMBURGER.

IS MINE, BITCH. I WANTS TO EAT IT. I CAN HAS CHEEZEBURGER NOW?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

For those of you who don't know, I've participated in a blog challenge for the past 5 months, I believe. Where no matter what, it could be a picture, one word, I had to update every day. Well only 5 blogs (and 6 people) made it to the end, including me.

Congrats Dave & Lily, Jake, Marisa, and Nora!

I feel like we all graduated together or something, now go enjoy your hard-earned invisible burger.

Screw you Needles!

Needles tired of being stuck to California

By David Kelly

Los Angeles Times

NEEDLES, Calif. — People in Needles, a parched railroad town clinging to the eastern edge of California, call it the poor stepchild, the redheaded stepchild, the ugly stepchild of San Bernardino County.

They grouse about not getting roads paved, about being 220 miles from the county seat, about being a dumping ground for parolees and sex offenders, all while gazing enviously across the Colorado River at boomtowns in Arizona and Nevada.

"The building codes are stricter here, the taxes are higher," said Patricia Scott, a nurse. "I cross into Arizona, and it's growing by leaps and bounds. We are the only community in the tri-state area that hasn't grown, and it's probably because we are in California."


----------------

No one leaves California! I'm sure we'll have people going down there threatening them if they leave. "Do you know how many people would DIE to live in California? And you're just gonna throw it all away?! Don't make me get the mafia on your ass." God, Californians are crazy. =)

Update on the 50 books this year!

I'm not even 1/5th done! Hopefully now that's it's summer, I'll read a lot more! I should be at 25!

1. Looking for Alaska by John Green (Everyone needs to read this book, IMMEDIATELY.)
2. Bergdorf Blondes by Plum Sykes (I indulged myself in a total guilty pleasure book.)
3. Macbeth by William Shakespeare (This puts his other work TO SHAME.)
4. Nights in Roadanthe by Nicholas Sparks (Does he always have to be so damn depressing?)
5. Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (The infatuation begins...)
6. New Moon by Stephenie Meyer (It grows, and grows, and grows...)
7. Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer (Shit, I'm completely in love with a fictional character.)
8. The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare (What a crappy ass ending.)
9. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling (It's summer, which means it's time to re-read the Harry Potter series. It's what I do.)
10. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling (Page 333, ftw. Everyone reads too much into things, or not enough.)
11. 13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson (It was pretty damn good, but I wish some characters had been developed more to get a clearer picture.)

To read:
-The rest of the Harry Potter series
-I just picked up Nerdfighting book 13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson
-I need to get An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
-Breaking Dawn!!!
-The Lovely Bones

Suggestions and recommendations are still greatly appreciated. =)

Edittttttt.

Do do do...

Today is a blah day. I've decided not to go out, nor have anyone over. I thought I needed a break from it, but I think I need it more than ever!!!

Lonesome for no one...

Everything is better at three in the morning. I swear to you it is.

I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it.

Today is 36 days till Breaking Dawn. You have no idea how excited I am. Like, I didn't feel this excited when Christmas was coming.

CONTEST.

This contest is almost over! Sweet Jesus! Since graduation, I have gone out or done something every single day, and I hope it stays that way cos I really don't like staying at home where it's all sweaty and BLEGH. Except for when we go swimming, those are good times.

Summertime.

Party on a Tuesday? Yeah, it's summer.

Dream a little dream of me...

I had a dream that I was a heavy smoker, and when my Nina saw me with a cigarette she freaked out and said "Whose is that?!" and I blamed it on my Nana but she didn't buy it. Then before I had that dream, I had another dream that my Tata shot me. What up, grandparents? Horrible dreams.

EVERYTHING is about Journey!

This blog contest is almost over, that's amazing. I'll probably start properly blogging this week, since it's my first week of real vacation and summer. YAY.

Party time!

Yeah, my graduation party should be starting soon. I'm gonna be busy.

Grad Night!!

It's Friday? WTF. I have so much to talk about from Grad Night but I got home at 7 this morning so I'm a little hazy.

I'M DONE!

I'm done. I graduated and I didn't even cry! I'm gonna go take a nap cos tonight is grad night. Basically, Disneyland opens the park to graduating seniors all night and it's freakin' amazing. I don't think you understand. Disneyland is my favourite place in the world. I dream of this. I dream of being at Disneyland at my favourite time of day and night (3 a.m.) I'm so excited!

There's no need to play with my heart.

This is my last night as a high school senior. As a high school student at all. It's very bittersweet. I'm ready to move and move on, but in the last month I've met some amazing people I had never known before and have to leave them behind in high school. I hope we meet up again in the real world.

Soulmates.

I love having friends who will listen with rapt attention to every little gripe you have. I love Deanna Soulmate.

In case I forget to post later...

I just went to see Sex and the City finally. It was SO GOOD.

Shit!

I almost forgot to post today. That wouldn't have been good. Did baccalaureate. Had a BBQ. Now I'm watching the Tony's. I wish I remembered my days well enough to properly blog about them.

You're on top of the world again...

Today I'm going to a graduation dinner, tomorrow is Baccaleureate (or however you spell it), I guess it really is ending. I thought it was a joke and they were gonna be like SYKE! (or however you spell it) YOU GOT ANOTHER YEAR TO GO! I'm gonna go eat now.

The internet is for porn.

I went to the FBLA banquet at the park today even though I'm not in FBLA and it was so much fun cos it's all my friends. We played ice breaker games and cards and ate lots of food. Yum. Oh, and today they finally broke me down and I cried a little. I'm saving it for graduation really, but I don't know if it'll happen. So thanks Clara and Quezada for making me cry! hahah.

Basically...

Okay I'm just kidding, that was for Nora. Who wants to fund my supernerdom? Anyone? I want to go to Comic Con this year and I need money! I would also like to go to Colorado, but we'll see how that goes.

Yay!

Basically, school is over. The next two days are spent doing basically nothing but sitting around in class and the rest of the days is Graduation practice. I'm pretty effing excited, only a week to go basically!!!

Oh jesus.

So today I found out that one of my absolute favourite bands (The Dresden Dolls) covered one of my absolute favourite Rocky Horror songs (Science Fiction/Double Feature) and you have no freakin' idea how happy that made me. I could listen to it all day. It's funny cos I did so much stuff today but I felt that was most significant. And now I'm watching Will and Grace and Stuart Townshend just came out looking fucking fine and his name is Edward on the show. Why must you torture me!?!? TORTURE.

At the late night double feature picture show...

I'm so close to graduating but the teachers have piled on the work for the next two days. What. the. hell. Don't they know I'm a senior and that it's basically futile? ARGH. Can't we just skip over this crap already?!

Shoo fly don't bother me...

When leaving a party at 2 a.m. last night, something popped into my head: "HOLY CRAP DID I POST A BLOG TODAY/YESTERDAY?" I then proceeded to freak the fuck out, but then recalled that I had and that even if I didn't I hadn't used my mulligan yet. Way to scare me, self.

SO MUCH LOVE.

I got my first graduation present today. And basically, it is the best present I will ever get, you can never top it. I'll probably post pictures later or tomorrow. I just want to say I fucking love my Deanna Soulmate and Meg Brown Sista.

Baby when the lights go out...

I don't feel good. Bleh. I better get better, I have a lot of things to do this weekend.

Who could ever ever ask for more?

These next two weeks are going to be so hectic. AGHHH.

You gotta spend some time, love...

I'm going to take a nap in my bed right now and it feels so good. OH MAN DID I TELL YOU THAT I GOT A NEW LAPTOP AS A GRADUATION PRESENT AND THAT I'M WRITING THIS BLOG ON IT RIGHT NOW? Yeeeeeeeeeeeah.

Say what you will of me...

I graduate two weeks from Wednesday, I can taste the freedom in the air. TASTE IT.

Don't you drink my O'Douls!

I had a Twilight party. With 3 people. It was amazing.

P.S. My mom started reading Twilight cos of my obsession. How cute is that?!

This makes my day.

Seriously, this music video just kills me.

WTF?

I just saw the Breaking Dawn cover art and...it's weird. I don't know what to make of it. I just don't see the flow with the other covers, but hey, as long as it works with the story. Now let's critically analyze only to find out it has no real significance like New Moon.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH LOVE.

I don't think you understand how happy this makes me. Like, I could die right now. I can't breathe. It's too much and it's only like the first two pages of Breaking Dawn! August 2nd couldn't be coming any slower!!!

Also, Bella get the fuck over being engaged. You have the best boyfriend ever who many would give their right arm for, literally (cough) and you're so whiny.

Hello, lovers!

I can't wait to see the Sex and the City movie. I'm hoping to go sometime today between school and the awards banquet tonight but I don't know if I'll be able to. Also, I am SUPER DUPER EXTREMELY excited to get up SUPER DUPER early tomorrow to buy the special edition of Eclipse which includes the first chapter of Breaking Dawn and the cover art. I don't think you can understand my excitement. It is oozing out of my pores and rocking me to my core. TOO MUCH EXCITEMENT.

Confession time!

You know on TV late at night when they do those "This is a test" shits? Those scare the crap out of me. I don't mean like a quick "Oh crap!" I mean like, I'm gonna cry cos I find them so creepy. I don't know why, somebody dig deep into my psyche and tell me.

Hustle rose goes from limb to limb...

I love Spunk Ransom. Have I said that before? Anywho, graduating is looming near and I couldn't be more excited, so I don't know why I chose the word looming when I could have said something more cheery and not dreary. Oh well.

You ain't gettin your hands on my virtue, ho.

Last night I had this strong urge to read Twilight even though I was in the midst of reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Somehow, and don't ask me cos I have no fucking clue how I did it, I talked myself out of picking up Twilight. I talked out loud to myself and said "No, it's unhealthy and you can't do that to Harry when he's been there for you for 10 years. You just can't." I have problems, don't I?

Continuing my three-day weekend...

Anthony, David and I are watching Flight of the Conchords and Pushing Daisies all day. It's a good day.

Yay 3-day weekend!

I saw Indiana Jones 4 earlier today. It was pretty good, but do you want to know the best part? THE TWILIGHT TEASER TRAILER. Robert Pattinson was made to be on the big screen. Like, his face was made to be blown up to that size and stared at. He is beyond gorgeous and I nearly pissed myself while watching it on the big screen. That is all.

ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM.

Partying till 5 a.m. and waking up at 1:30 p.m. This is the life.

I wish the weather was always like this.

Today while waiting for call time, it started raining. Then it started hailing. Lightning and thunder soon followed. Needless to say, it was FUCKING AMAZING. So for about an hour me and my friends played in the rain and hail. (By the way, hail hurts!) This is crazy California weather, cos you all know we're all about the sunshine and shit. Anyways, I was drenched, soaking wet and it was amazing. We ran and danced and played Ring around the Rosy (is that how you spell it?) It was far too much fun and although I don't usually believe in this stuff and find it cheesy, spending that time in the rain and hail was very cleansing. I felt refreshed and not just in a shower kind of way but an emotional one. It was lovely. I wish it was like that every day.

These things are sent to try us...

I have late-start tomorrow, but I also have a performance. I guess it evens out. I'm pretty tired now, I won't be writing blogs of substance until Saturday and now I'm gonna sing Wicked karaoke. Good day, or night rather.

P.S. I have a Cash Cab problem.

You know what I did?...

AHHHHHHH. If only you could know what I really do.

Why does television hate me?

First, Jim and Pam don't get engaged (There were lots of stuff thrown after that), then everything falls apart on Gossip Girl (There was lots of screaming after that). I hate television.

I want to tell you...

I finished my senior portfolio at 11:30 tonight. Now, I have a final on Robinson Crusoe tomorrow, I haven't read past page 1. This may or may not be a problem, we'll see.

NEVER LET THE PARTY DIE!

I'm so ridiculously tired from dancing and all the keeping alive the party I did, but I'm going out right now. So...who knows if there will be a better post tomorrow/later today?

Do do do you got a first-aid kit handy?

I have a communion to attend and my sister's wedding reception to DJ. I doubt there will be a post of substance today.

Life ain't easy for a boy named Sue.

Today was a total FUCK IT! day.
My day went as follows:
I went to school in my pajamas (a UCSB t-shirt and pajama pants), went to Kidder's class and was fed donuts, bananas, and apple juice.
From there the class went to take the AP Econ test (that's why he brought us food)
Anyways, he hasn't taught all year so we literally had no idea what the fuck most of it was talking about, so I, along with a select few wrote this little diddy in the free response area:
"THIS IS SPARTA!"
Yes, that is my answer. I'm sure that has something to do with aggregate demand and supply curves.
I hope my AP grader has a sense of humour. I can only imagine the scenario:
"What? She cleverly avoided the entire question by referencing an over-used and slightly out-of-date catchphrase web phenomenon? I give her a 5!"
Also, in this world monkeys would make me sandwiches, like at Subway.
Anyways, on to real world events.
We finished and were told to head back to class. Instead we hung out and at the end of the lunch period, walked out through the front office, without any interference or questions mind you, jumped in our cars and went to get frozen yogurt.
Yum.
I should not be allowed in that place. I simply cannot control myself around help-yourself toppings. (Fruity pebbles, Cap n' Crunch, cookie dough, white chocolate chips...)
Then we took weird pictures and went back to school after it had ended.
I had rehearsals from 4:30 to 9, but they let me out early at 8:30. YAY.
I got home in time for The Office and I just don't want to talk about it, unless you want to ask me about it...then I'll talk about it.
Pretty good day if you ask me.

I need sleep.

I should be sleeping. I had tech rehearsals today, and I have more tomorrow and the day after. I should be sleeping. Instead, I'm working on my mix for the monthly mixtape club. What's up with the theme though? Space? Like, really? Who has a plethora of space-themed music? I'm kinda pushing it, but whatever, it's fun. I'm almost done, this is hard!

So you better move fast.

Today I went to the gas station/Subway by my school to get some sustenance and they were playing Rilo Kiley's "Dreamworld". I kinda did a double-take, although there was nothing to see because you can't see music. I was surprised they weren't playing the latest hip-hop song about some girl's fine ass. I only hear Rilo Kiley at clothing stores trying to earn cool indie cred (although I don't think Rilo earns that anymore from the elitists), let alone Dreamworld. I was just kind of baffled that they were playing Dreamworld of all songs. Their most mainstream song is probably Portions for Foxes, and I could fathom that being played, but not really Dreamworld.

In other news, I graduate 5 weeks from today. YAY.

Happy happy birthday!

Happy birthday Robert Pattinson, you gorgeous speciman of a man, you. Now let's make babies!


GORGEOUS!

Read all about it!

Picture time!

Me straightening my hair for the wedding was the entertainment once Cash Cab was over, I'm not kidding. It's like magic!

This picture is mandatory every trip, not to mention spending over $150 in The Beatles Love store. Whoops.

I found Hedwig in FAO Schwartz and almost died then and there. I let out a squee that would do hardcore fangirls proud.

My sister looked GORGEOUS in her wedding dress. I had to practice to get that dress on, it should take a whole squadron!

My goddaughter Bella, the love of my life as we went out and about in Vegas.

Myspace wedding pictures! The maid of honour and bride.

I just have to mention I bought this adorable dress in Vegas for 20 bucks, SCORE.

To wrap things up, we found a pink gorilla at MGM. He didn't even work there! He was just a guy with his friend in a pink gorilla suit and mile-high margaritas. I didn't even want to ask, but he was cool.
If you want to see all twenty million pictures, just friend me on Facebook or Myspace.

Won't you be in Nerdfighterlike with me?

Remember how I was afraid I would have piles of homework that would inevitably consume me? Yeah, no. In 2nd, we watched prom videos. In 4th, we watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail (fuck yeah!) and in 6th, well I had to work but that's okay. It's like I never left, or more like nothing gets done when I'm gone so everyone puts stuff on hold. Sigh. I'm gonna post pictures later, just for Iain.

I am the Walrus,

I'm scared to go to school tomorrow because I don't even want to know what I missed out on and I need to make up in the next two days. Can't I just not go until graduation? Or better yet, send me my diploma by mail, that would be swell. I guess I'll go to sleep now and dream of the endless nights to come. Oh joy.

I'm a tired panda.

A tired panda that reeks of cigarettes. Yummy.

HOME.

I'm finally home from Vegas and I REEK of cigarettes, as does all of my clothes in a suitcase. Lovely. I would like to thank Shey for keeping me in the contest and I love her to bits and pieces and should buy her something pretty cos I'm gonna see her next Saturday. Yay! More to come about my trip.

ok so i lied

friday didn't yield any interesting stories. and now its saturday and im getting ready to go to..wait for it...wait for it...

WORK!

i might as well just slit my wrists and call it a life.

i'm in ur books denyin u secks

that has got to be one of the funniest things ever.

hi, its me again. nicole isn't back yet and so i am here to continue to put her blog in the toilet unintentionally.

i just finished watching grey's and there was this moment when two effing hot guys were making out and thats pretty much all i can think about right now.

i love me some hot gays.

tomorrow (or today, whatever) is friday. maybe i will have something better to tell you tomorrow (or today, whatever)

sorry nicole. im trying!!!

watch and love

when the cat's away....

ahhh, nicole is gone and i am in charge here. i seriously have no idea why she entrusted me her blog. if you have ever read mine i assure you i am not that interesting and i'm pretty sure no one reads it but her.

i just woke up, realizing that i passed out on my bed with all of my clothes still on, my face not washed and the lights on. yay. i bet right now i look like the all the things in which sexual fantasies are made.

i see that scarlett johannsens album just leaked on libble and at first i was like "hi, no." but nme gave it a kind of good review and now i am slightly curious...i think im gonna go have a look.

till tomorrow with this ridiculous exercise...

Vacation!

I'm leaving for Vegas later today if you want to get technical. I don't know if I'm gonna have internet access, so if not I'll talk to you guys Saturday and hope you enjoy Shey's presence during my absence.

P.S. Have you seen the video I posted below?! If you haven't, I don't know what you're waiting for, fool.

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT.

I'M LIGHTHEADED, I CAN'T FEEL SOME OF MY LIMBS, MY BODY IS SHAKING AND I SWEAR TO GOD MY HEART'S GONNA JUMP OUT OF MY CHEST. YES, I HAVE A PROBLEM

Twilight in HD

i am slightly pretentious, i am completely a bitch and im contributing to this blog

i don't know why nicole has asked me to guest-blog on her blog. but here i am!
i have nothing to say...soooo, LOOK! mark ronson:

that's it.

Mmmmhamburger.

I inadvertently cleaned my room while packing for my Vegas trip. Apparently, everything I owned was on my floor and bed, piled so high that I could not see my floor. So...I packed everything I owned into a suitcase and a duffel bag and what do you know! it looked like I hired a maid to clean my room, but I would never hire a maid cos you know, it's in my blood. (Oh look I just made a racist joke targeting myself, ZING self!) I don't believe I'll have internet access from Wednesday-Saturday, so I need people to do guest posts so I don't lose the Hamburger contest. (That burger is mine, Nora, Dave+Lily, Jake, whoever else is still in!) So if you feel like it, let me know what day you'd like to take. Or else I'll have to commandeer someone's computer and pay a ludicrous amount of money for internet access. (I really want that hamburger.)

Which does NOT sound delicious.

Who spends their Saturday nights reading Harry Potter?
Oh right, I do.

I also watch Ratatouille on repeat like it's my job. Somebody needs to give me something productive to do.

Nerd levels

I've decided to stay up all night re-reading Deathly Hallows. I know, you can stop talking to me now cos my nerd level has just reached a new peak for you. It's not like this is even the first time like after the midnight release party, it's a re-read. Hahaha.

All was well.

I don't know if you know, but ten years ago today (in the Wizarding World), Voldemort was defeated by these fucking kickass people including a BAMF named Neville Longbottom. I figured you didn't cos you're not a huge nerd like me, but now that I've told you, go do something extra specially AWESOME to celebrate this huge day. I'm giving you permission, GO!

The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.

It's kind of disgusting how much I play the Harry Potter trivia game on Facebook. You have no idea how great a procrastination tool it is. I never do anything productive these day because I always want to get to the next level, I'm currently a Greater God. The questions are fairly easy, especially if you've read the entire series multiple times and have an obsession far and beyond as much as I do. I'm actually reading Deathly Hallows right now, and that also cuts away at my productivity. However, I think any time spent reading Harry Potter is productive. Maybe I'll go to bed before 1, or maybe I'll just read...

So boring!

I'm not exactly sure what I did today, but I'm pretty sure it involved a lot of laziness. I don't even know what day it is. I'm looking for new music, does anyone have any suggestions?

Tomorrow is The Office and I couldn't be more excited. I hate how much I love that damn show. Hahaha. I wish Flight of the Conchords and Pushing Daisies would come back. =(

Sorry I'm so boring today, I can't be a bundle of laughs every day, I got to ration my bundles, they're quickly running out.

Dear God.

How funny would it be if God had a facebook? I'm serious, I think I would die of laughter if God had a facebook, just think of the status updates!

God is all-knowing and all-powerful, and you're not.
God is watching you.
God knows what you did last summer, maybe even better than you do.
God can kill you so you better stop sending him so many damn application requests.

And then you can play Scrabulous with God! You can brag to your friends, "Dude, I totally beat God at Scrabble, I totally laid down my bingo and he was DONE."

God could have the compare people application and he could be like #4 best dancer or #7 best father potential or #8 most famous! Seriously, this could be hilarious!

The biggest question obviously is what flair would Jesus choose? I totally hope I make his Top Friends.

I find this idea far too entertaining. I wonder if I could get God to subscribe to my blog. God probably facebooks, youtubes, and blogs more than anything. Blogging is the new praying, it just shows up in his RSS!

Round 24!

I think my heart and my brain really need to stop all this bickering. They really need to team up to find me a boyfriend instead of constantly telling each other "Screw you!" Seriously, they need to hash this out over coffee or something.

Tonight your ghost will ask my ghost "Where is the love?"

I celebrated my Mom's birthday today, except the present I ordered her just shipped today. Aren't I out of school yet?! Argggggggh.

Let me translate...

Goblet of Fire on ABC is a sign from God that I'm supposed to marry Robert Pattinson. The end.

Num num num.

The wedding is in less than two weeks and that's a little daunting, but I had Pinkberry tonight so all is well.

It's always singing time!

I just had a two-hour conversation/video chat with my Deanna Soulmate (and a little Meg thrown in there too) and all is right with the world.

I'm on my way...

I went on the radio show today and it was...an experience. I should go to sleep now cos I didn't get to take my nap today!

I never met a Toby that I didn't like.

Tomorrow I'm going on a radio show to talk about that damned movie Expelled. It's a Catholic radio and I'm the only non-religious person going on. (I was raised Catholic though.)

And so it seems that you've grown up and over me...

...and it's these silly things I like to dwell on.

I think it's amazing how Rilo Kiley has a lyric to describe every part of my life, basically. Lately I've been thinking about all the good friends that I've drifted from and it's making me sad. I try so hard to keep in touch with my friends, I can think of the countless times I've called or tried to somehow hang out or keep in touch and it's always bigger on my side. It's like a relationship where you feel like you like the other person WAY more than they like you. So I think, I did everything I'm supposed to do right? So why aren't we friends anymore? And then I start obsessing and think that they hate me. I think "Oh man, they must have gotten to know me and don't like me anymore. They don't like me once they get to know me." I don't know if it's true but when there's no one there to tell you otherwise it seems to be the only answer. I never vocalize it to these people though, cos well, they don't want to talk to me obviously. Occasionally it occurs to me that they might be extremely busy, but I always quickly pass over the option cos everything's always MY fault, right?

Sorry I'm being bitchy, I should be so grateful for the many friendships I do have, they are my world and I couldn't love them any more, my heart would probably explode.<333

P.S. I love Shelana and she makes all my frowns turn upside down.
P.P.S. I just watched Carrie get broken up with by a post-it and realize my life doesn't suck so much.

Senioritis goin' strong!

I didn't do my paper. I listened to Pottercast and Facebooked. Yeeeeeeeeah.

I'm so upset.

That Iain's out of the contest, seriously. Can I sell him my mulligan?

Oy.

I'm currently at my aunt's house. We're having the wedding shower here tomorrow so I'm spending the night so I can help set up tomorrow. Damn maid of honour duties.

Things have changed for me, and that's okay.

Oh man, tonight's episode of The Office was so great! Okay, I'm gonna admit it. When Jim pulled out the ring, I started crying. Like really. But luckily, 5 seconds later they showed Andy dancing in the parking lot and I went into a fit of hysteric laughter.

So around freshmen year of high school I left behind my years of drama (you could take my 8th grade year and turn it into a 20 novel series for young adults.) and just stopped cos I had bigger things on my mind. But now it's somehow invaded my life again and I am now on contract with a girl. Basically it's like a restraining order so she can't get near me. Suh-weet. Actually, I was happy with my 2 and a half drama-less years. I want it back!

Oh how it's been so long...

I haven't done anything productive all day, except for talk in an extremely weird accent for about 3 hours that had everybody in tears from laughing. Including me. Maybe I'll make a youtube video like that and post it. Eh. Anyways, all day I knew I had to work on a paper, yet here I am at 12:20 in the morning and I barely started and decided to do it tomorrow morning instead, even though I have nothing better to do tonight! I'm so channeling my senior-ness right now. Oh senioritis, will you ever be cured?

I fail.

at posting my pictures. Here's one to hold you over until I get my shit together:

Yeah, I'm going to be living in that gorgeous place come September. I know you're jealous.

I'm gonna post right now..

just cos I can.

As you can tell...

I changed up my layout. I miss my mustache men but I needed something new. And...for those of you who don't know where I get my blog title, (the weapon we have is love), I think I'll post that song later.

Scratch that.

Photos tomorrow? I have major homework-age tonight. It's ridiculous. Don't these teachers know I'm a senior and this is useless?

Just in case.

Some pictures from SB to come tonight.

WHAT IS MAKING MY LIFE AMAZING RIGHT NOW.

AHHHHHHHHHH.
I swear, I adore that whole cast to pieces. Edward and Bella laying in the field is so hot. Jasper is also hot. "I don't know, they have brooms." HAHAHA. Emmett is adorable. SIGH. When I was watching it, I felt like my heart jumped out of my chest, the love is so overwhelming.
Well, I should go lie down or something, I have to wake up early to go to Santa Barbara tomorrow, I'm at my cousin's house at the moment. It's so exciting to go visit the place you're gonna be living for the next four years. I can't wait!

The Office Pizza Party!

Today I went to school and just got through the day. But, I came home with Aline and we watching massive amounts of TV. Then David came after practice and we ordered pizza and watched Almost Famous until The Office started. (They had never seen Almost Famous, and being my favourite movie, I was so excited to finally have them watch it.) We watched The Office together, and it was beyond amazing. We were all in tears by the end of the episode and my head hurt so bad. Jan dancing to Hunter's song about her taking his virginity? BEYOND HILARIOUS. I basically lost it at that point. I'm so glad The Office is back. I've missed our pizza parties.

I keep on talkin' trash, but I never say anything.

Today, I did absolutely nothing. Like, I did the bare minimum to constitute that I had a day. I went to school, came home, took a nap, and surfed the web and now I'm here. Tomorrow is the return of the Office and I couldn't be more exciteddddddddd. We're having a The Office pizza party for the return. Eeeek. This Saturday I'm taking a day trip to UCSB with my cousin cos he's never been there. Poor boy, doesn't know that he's gonna fall instantly in love.

Getting to know me..

Since you've been reading this blog I guess you've figured out my working hours. I hardly blog when the sun is out, usually only when I'm sick or know that I won't be home later. I never go to sleep before 12 because well, I just don't. It's like how some people can't go to sleep before 8, only at 10 (I don't know these people, I hear they're mythical.) The earliest to me is 11, and even then I feel icky (that's right, icky) for thinking about it. It just doesn't feel right. I usually lie down at about 1 on weeknights, and I don't fall asleep till 1:30 or 2. It takes me a long time to fall asleep at night, unless I've been at Disneyland all day. That is the only exception I've noticed. Well now that we've talked about my sleeping patterns, I wanna hear about other people's. What time do you sleep?

Twilight talk.

I'm sure everyone's sick of me talking about Twilight, but I just had a revelation. I finally GET Rosalie. FINALLY. I never got her and that always bugged me. I knew there MUST be more to her than her superficiality, and I just get it now. It's a nice feeling.

Puppytime.

Tomorrow I'm going with my sister to pick out two dogs from the humane society (the love of her life was run over on Saturday, I love you Boysenberry!). So I'm skipping school to go with her and hopefully we can find her some puppies that were half as good as Boysenberry was!

DON'T DO IT. YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR.

I went to see Leatherheads today and um, well....don't go see it. It missed the mark completely. If you're considering seeing it, this is me telling you to stop considering. I took one for the team. I went cos come on, who doesn't want to see George Clooney AND John Krasinski on screen at the same time? But it was pretty crap, so wait till you can rent it or catch it on youtube.

I've decided to make a list of things that can replace Iain. It goes as follows:
1. The Count




That's all I got.

Oh crap! I forgot to put a title!

Christopher Walken and Panic! at the Disco (I refuse to take out the "!", REFUSE.) on SNL. I think that is one of the odder combinations on an SNL show. I mean, Ellen Page and Wilco? That just made sense. The C-Man and Panic!? Not so much. It was funny nonetheless. I'm gonna go continue watching Bottle Rocket now and I watched High Fidelity earlier. I like movie weekends.

I can't believe...

I'm still in the HAMBURGER BLOG CHALLENGE. I haven't even used my mulligan yet! So.. ha, ha, Iain. I will win your hamburger. I eat your hamburger, I eat it up! (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.) It feels nice to know I've made it this far and there's only 8 people left. Whoo!

Le sigh.

My sickness is over. It was surprisingly quick, but I just re-read Eclipse and have different kinds of aches. I'm so stupid.

I are sick.

It was only a matter of time. My whole family was sick this week and I was the only one who went to school/work.

LATE START.

Oh man oh man, tomorrow is late start. Or later today rather. It means I don't have to go to school till like 9:15. I forgot we had late start and like an hour ago I jumped up out of my seat and said "TOMORROW IS LATE START." My little sister just stared at me and kept watching TV, it was pretty funny.

Drama people.

I love that drama people and tech people never go home. LIKE EVER. Even when they can. We like to stay at school all day and hang out with each other, hahaha. Also, this is making my life so much better right now:

I went to school today.

And I could feel the Rocky Horror on my body. I was so ridiculously tired, I hate you Rudy!

Sad.

I swear, I still have red lipstick all over my body (they wrote on me) and my bedroom is awful lonely without Rudy and Adrian sleeping here. =(

Let's do the Time Warp again!

I'M SO FUCKING TIRED. RUDY WOKE ME UP AT 10:30. He should have rolled over and gone back to sleep, but woke me up instead. We got home at 5 in the morning, what a heffer.

Birthday

It's my birthday or something and I may be talking to David for like an hour in cowboy southern accents and I may be reading Twilight. Just maybe.

Rejection.

I didn't get into Berkeley. Fuck Berkeley. Hahah, bitter much? Except Shey is so excited cos that means I'm going to UCSB and I'll be a lot closer and she can come visit. Hahahah. It's okay, Edward is making everything better. Kind of. Except for his whole nonexistance. Kinda sucks.

P.S. I am very upset that the labels rearrange themselves into alphabetical order so that Berkeley goes before Edward Cullen. That is so not the order of their importance in my life, even if I HAD gotten into Berkeley. Har, har? I think I'm kidding? I need mental help? Yes, I believe so.

YUMMY.

I went to the fair tonight with my friends and I got a funnel cake. If you know me, you know HOW MUCH I LOVE FUNNEL CAKES.

Eat you up.

I love all these new pictures from the Twilight filming. I swear to God looking at that man makes me forget how to breathe. I feel like Bella except for the whole I don't get to have him part.

Mama yo quiero.

I love watching I Love Lucy in the middle of the day. Tomorrow I'm supposed to go to the zoo and Thursday I'm going to the beach with friends. Good week!

Oh it's nausea.

I'm on Spring Break, but it feels more like Summer break. What the hell. I know this is SoCal and we're all about the sunshine and shit, but this is ridiculous! It's in the high 80's and it's freakin' March! I turned on my air conditioner last night! That should not be happening...

HAPPY EASTER.

It's so cute. I still get easter baskets, hahaha. Reason #23423 why me and my friends are the best:
David: "Who is that?"
Nicole (Me): "Bono."
D: "From U2?"
N: "No, it's one of the twenty million other Bonos in this world."
D: "There probably are."
N: "I think if someone tried to change their name to Bono, Bono would find them and shoot them in the face."

Time is fleeting...

I just finished movie night. There was: boba, pizza, lesbian, Rocky Horror, Across the Universe, Time Warp, tourettes and much more. It was the best.

Spring break!!!

Today is my first day off for spring break! Woohoo! Tonight is movie night at my house at 6. Rocky Horror Picture Show yeeeeeah!

Party time!

I got rejected from UCLA! I couldn't be happier! No seriously. If you're wondering why, just ask.

I am sure.

Thank god for my Deanna Soulmate! She's just as obsessed as I am! We spent ten minutes talking about Bella's truck!!!

Stupid shiny volvo owner!

Tell my heart to stop yearning and hurting. Le sigh.

Fab!

I met the two most fabulous gays at Target today. I need new fags to hag, any takers?

I want that hamburger.

YUM.

Thank god!

That I wrote a blog earlier today! I just got home from dinner/breakfast? with the Chicago cast after our last performance. It was beyond amazing and I love everyone in that cast to pieces. Let's just say I cried so much today that I think I cried out my sickness.

Man on man am I tired!

I'm at school right now, against my better judgement. I was going to skip today and just show up at call time and perform until I remembered that Jostens is on campus today taking cap and gown orders and I need to order mine! So I rolled out of bed, threw on some clothes and came to school. I think I'm gonna go home at 2 and come back at 4 for call time. I want to get a nap, but I probably won't be able to, I have so much to do. I need to go buy invitations this weekend for my birthday party, I'm so excited! Tonight is closing night of Chicago, and if I wasn't so sick, I'd probably be crying from sadness.

SHIT.PISS.FUCK.

In case I die later tonight: I am extremely sick. I have lost my voice. I have a performance tonight. I have no understudy. I am fucking screwed.

ARGGGH.

This isn't a "oh crap I almost forgot to post" post. I got home at 10:45 tonight and ate my dinner and now I'm here. I lost my voice again during performances tonight, what.the.fuck. It's really starting to piss me off!

P.S. THEY FINALLY ANNOUNCED THAT DEATHLY HALLOWS IS GONNA BE SPLIT INTO TWO MOVIES. BASICALLY ALL THE KIDS IN THE FANDOM ALREADY KNEW THAT BUT IT BECAME OFFICIAL TODAY, YAY!!!!

And we'll have fun fun fun till her daddy takes the T-Bird away...

I just went bowling and on a hike to the nature center and a whole bunch of more fun for Adrian's birthday. It was like the whole cast of Chicago! They're sooooooooooo much fun!

Ow ow!

Today, while on my way to go to lunch with my friends, a firefighter pulled up next to us on Ana's side (the driver's side). He was alone, I was in the passenger's seat and literally jumped over Ana and started flirting with him as much as it's possible to, and he started flirting back. But then we had to go to lunch and I lost my hot firefighter. I need to go find him again!

I love gay boys.

They're the bestest.

I'm going bowling.

Cos I'm bored.

Okay.

I just had a matinee (and my Shey came which made me sooooooooo happy), and now I'm off to Sadie's! I'm going to slowly kill myself.

I found myself on youtube.

How weird!

My day off.

Guess what? We don't have a performance today beccause there's a graduation going on in the cafeteria, that's why we're having a matinee tomorrow. We were suppose to have rehearsals though but since we killed second night, he cancelled rehearsals. HUZZAH. I don't think you understand how collectively tired the entire cast is, including our director and stage crew. We all look like zombies, all day during school. So I came home and took a three hour nap, while it was refreshing, I only need about 20 full days of sleep to catch up.

Screw second day slump!

We totally owned tonight. It was SUCH an amazing performance, it'll probably be up on youtube someday and ya'll can hear me sing. Hahaha.

AGGGGH.

I JUST GOT HOME. I JUST HAD OPENING NIGHT OF CHICAGO AND IT WAS AMAAAAAAZING. I LOVE BEING MAMA. I LOVE ACTING. I LOVE EVERYTHING! I'm gonna go watch Project Runway now. WHEEE.

I love looking like drag.

GOOD drag at least. So for my birthday, Rocky Horror at midnight is SO ON. YEAH. Also, Edward FTW. I think I just want to swoon over him on every post.

Ew.

My stage make-up looks very drag. And not the good looking drag either, ugh. I'm going to build my rehab center soon. I'm sure it will just be me and my friends never really getting over our fictional problems but just fighting between Jacob and Edward. (Btw, Edward TOTALLY WINS ALL, ALL THE TIME.)

Ellen Page hosted SNL.

She's cute, and Wilco is awesome.

It's eating away at me..

I'm being consumed by this. I'm sure that if I didn't have pressing college matters to do over the internet I wouldn't have remembered to write a post today, so that's good. Except as soon as I'm done with this, I'll go right back. I'll be locked up soon.

No one understands...

how bad it's gotten. It's finally the weekend which means I can finally sleep. But I won't sleep because I'll be obsessing about the fictional vampire I'm deeply in love with and how HE ISN'T REAL and that even if he was, he probably wouldn't love me! I'm gonna go cry now.

I NEED SO MUCH HELP.

I'm deeply and utterly in love with a fictional character, this is baaaaad. I haven't had it this bad since Sirius Black and Ron Weasley. I'm not even kidding. I wish there was a rehab place for people like me. I feel like I'm a zombie.

Twilight.

I just started reading Twilight cause the whole world has been telling me to for 3 years now. Now I'm in love with a fictional vampire. FUCKING GREAT. I have such problems with falling in love with fictional characters, UGH. So...if you know a vampire/werewolf/wizard guy who's willing to date me, that would be PERFECT.

Fuck hell week!

I just got home from rehearsals (in which I'm sure everyone wanted to literally, LITERALLY, shank everyone else), and I have a fucking paper due tomorrow. AGH. I've started reading Twilight cause all my friends say it's amazing, it's pretty good so far. Also, happy birthday to my love Jessica! Hope your 19th is amazing!

Hell week begins.

So here begins the three week period in which I write incoherent thoughts because my brain is dead from rehearsals. This week rehearsals are 4-10, and then the next two weeks are performances. I'm so excited! Except for the whole not sleeping thing, not cool.

P.S. Come see Chicago if you live in the area! Message meee.

Oscars.

I called most of it and it was fairly entertaining and it would have been cool to see a major upset like Juno winning best picture (ha!). But sometimes it was pretty boring since everything I thought would win...won. Although, was anyone else uncomfortable and awkward when Owen Wilson presented an award? Yeah...I was.

According to my calculations...

no one seems to care for The Curler collar. What the hell. Hahahah. I'm spending a lazy day with one of my best friends. We lay on the couch and watch Across the Universe and I Love Lucy, it's awesome.

I love the rain!

I just finished watching Fight Club instead of doing my homework. Watching Fight Club while it's raining is looooooooove.

Bloody hell!

Last night I watched Running with Scissors as my movie substitution for homework. It wasn't that great. Tonight I have a project to do for physiology that's due tomorrow. Also, tomorrow about 6 of us are planning to talk in a British accent all day. That should be lots of fun.

Do you guys ever read stuff you used to blog or post or write and think "God, I used to be soo funny?" I always do that, at some point does the funny just run out?

I wish my homework was asexual so it would do itself.

So I've come to a decision. Every time I have homework, instead of doing the homework, I'm going to watch a movie. I know, brilliant, right?
So on Monday night, I had an essay to do. I swore to myself I was going to work on it, and I would let the time slip away hour after hour. Till 11 rolled around and I decided to watch American Beauty instead! So brilliant. Then I finished the essay after, in like 20 minutes. Oh well.
So yesterday night instead of doing Physiology homework, I watched Little Children. Sophisticated, God I'm so sophisticated! (That was a Gatsby reference that just popped into my head for some reason.)
So tonight I think I'll watch Fight Club or Little Miss Sunshine. Now tell me how smart I am.

I'm crashing early tonight...

I'm so tired. It's been a long day and I went to sleep at like 2:30 last night because I couldn't sleep. Blegh! So Kat's out and Nora missed a day, that hamburger is getting closer than I thought.

As you can tell...

I've currently changed my blog. I liked the old layout, but I didn't like the fact that everyone and their mom had it. So I'm gonna try this one out and see how much I like it.

I will be taking a poll, so should I keep this layout? Yay or nay? Check out the poll in the sidebar.

I went to Olvera Street today.

It was yummy. I'm gonna go watch Across the Universe now.

Countdown, countdown, countdown...

We ordered my maid of honour dress today. It's really pretty and I can't wait to get it next week, it's so nice. I'll have pictures next week. In other news, I got married on Valetine's Day...to six people. One boy and six girls. We're mormon. Some pictures:

Guz bought us a cake, aww!
(It's a long inside joke of a story.)

Miranda and I make attractive faces to pick up boys.

At the altar, I'm somewhere back there.

Miranda and I at breakfast.

I wear my sunglasses early in the morning to breakfast when it's raininggggg.

My favourite wife, we're happily married. <3Clara.

We look SO happy to be marrying each other!

The best advice I've given all week:

To a distraught, frustrated girl who just had a horrible, HORRIBLE, day:
Sometimes you need to have a really fucking horrible day, to know and appreciate the really fucking great ones.



Sometimes I spew stuff that makes sense to me.

I don't think I've ever been this happy.

So far, I've had the best fucking Valentine's Day of my life and it did not involve boyfriends or girlfriends, just friends. God, I fucking love them.

Tomorrow's Valentine's Day.

I don't ever do anything on Valentine's Day. I don't ever get anything (unless from my family and friends). I usually just treat it like another day except people are lugging around a life-size teddy bear and a botanical garden. I don't think I've ever even had a Valentine on Valentine's Day. However, since it is late start tomorrow (I go into school at 9:30), four of my best friends (the lunch car therapy crew) and I are going out to eat for breakfast. Yummy. I must love them so damn much to get up way before I have to. (I missed a trip to the mall on Monday because I don't get up before 12.) Hope ya'll have a good one! Leave the love.

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